


A Desired Form for the Sleepless

by Happylittleaddict, ShyChangling



Series: Loial [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Accidentally Outted, Body Dysphoria, Gen, Mentions of past abuse, RvB Trans Week, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Trans Character, written by two trans/nonbinary folk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 19:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15468720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happylittleaddict/pseuds/Happylittleaddict, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyChangling/pseuds/ShyChangling
Summary: Simmons has the ability to change himself to however he wants. He uses it as such to keep his true self known to the world. Only issue comes with sleep and the magic fades. So he tries to never sleep.Dexter Grif is a half sloth demon who never meant to find out. But there may be some good advice to be heard from him.





	A Desired Form for the Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> Written in the perspective of two trans people. And based on one of our supernatural aus in which there's humans, demons and those with heavenly magic.

Simmons looks in the mirror. He slicks his hair back and sits back in his bunk. Tired and overworked. He had woken up early again. Have to keep awake or all his concentration is gone. Keep your form, keep yourself awake.

“When was the last time you actually slept dude?” Grif asked him mumbling a bit as he was just starting to wake up. He was pretty sure Simmons hadn’t slept properly since he had gotten sick. Only because Sarge ordered him to use his passive ability to make Simmons sleep so he would get better. Which had led him to an interesting discovery about the other that he had been keeping to himself since.

"Not since I've gotten here," Simmons thinks to ignore him. He rubs his arm. Getting sick was the worst thing that could of happened to him. Being forced to sleep was even worse. There was a chance he was outed if Grif had to stick so close. But given he never brought it up, Simmons believes he's gotten lucky. "Four hours of sleep isn't going to kill me though."

“Short term you’re correct but irregular sleep for extended periods time is really bad.” Grif replied and yawned “what are you so scared of?” He asked quirking a brow up.

"That's not an easy thing to say, Grif," Simmons sighs out. He looks over his hands. It was a blessing to get this magic. To change his shape to how ever he wanted to look. He experimented years, ever changing, ever curious. Till finally he found a way to look he was proud of, only for it to be lost to sleep. It wasn't as if he had to deal with that directly.

“Why not? We’ve been sharing a room since we got to this place.” Grif rolled eyes a bit sitting up now. He yawned and glanced at him “it’s not like i haven’t seen you sleep.” He said and shrugged.

And that is what Simmons was scared of. "How much have you seen?" he had hoped with how much he napped Simmons could get around this. But seems Grif has noticed and in all honestly being watched after when sick may of been the nail in the coffin. 

Grif shrugged a bit again “enough to know.” He said realizing belatedly that most people don’t outright state they know that kind of thing without first establishing their views on it. Then it hit him that Simmons was probably terrified right now.

Simmons holds the bottom of his shirt, fingers dug into it and his palms. He wasn't sure what to do. Nothing has happened up to this point. So he should be safe right? Grif seemed to be nonchalant on everything. Fuck even if Grif didn't care, Simmons did!

“I don’t have any issue with the fact. I mean your not the first person I’ve known to feel that way.” Grif crossed his legs and sighed a bit. “Look I didn’t mean to find out. And trust me I have no intent on telling anyone else.” He grinned a little. “That would take way to much energy. I’m just a bit curious.” He scratched the back of his head a bit. He had not meant to make it awkward or make Simmons so distressed over it, he felt a little bad, only a little thought.

Simmons scrunches his face. Partially relief. Partially anger for Grif trying to make it a joke. "Don't treat this like our usual talks, Grif. This is a big deal here. This isn't us debating on the merits of remakes," Simmons crosses his arms. "I feel really, pried open over this." He sighs. "I didn't want anyone to really get what this magic meant to me."

Grif bit his lip, he was bad at serious stuff, he could manage it but being too serious could be exhausting. “Sorry, I can’t imagine it’s all that comfortable...” he replied and tilted his head a bit thinking. “I can’t really imagine what it feels like. But i don’t mind listening. Even if it is a heavy subject matter.” 

There's a pause and silence. "You'd listen to me? Like seriously listen? No jokes, no making fun of me for my habits?" Simmons looks down to the other side of the room. He hasn't had much of a chance to ever tell people these things. He's tried before but often was brushed off or people changed the subject on him without warning.

“Well yeah. As I said your not the first person I have had this experience with. Just the other person actually had a chance to come out to me on their own.” Grif said to him and leaned against the wall. He wasn’t lying about that, he really did know someone else who didn’t identify with the body they were born with. He had been supportive then he could be supportive now.

If someone else has come out to him before then maybe Simmons can be abit more comforted. The room is only filled with an awkwardness that comes with moments like these. "My magic lets me change my form. Tactful yeah but I've used it to show my true self since I was thirteen when it developed." Don't tiptoe around it, say it straight and breath. No one will hurt you here.

Grif nodded a bit as he listened. “Is that what caused some of the family issues?” He asked tilting his head a bit. While most of his family was pretty accepting he wasn’t dumb enough to think everyone did. It kinda sucked though that kinda thing could do a number on people.

"I don't want to talk on that," Simmons brushes his fingers in his hair looking down. While his half sister was excited for him. Parents were mortified. He was already the bastard son in an affair. What else can he do to tarnish the family? Not like any of that was his fault.

“Thats answer enough for me then.” He said shrugging, Grif wouldn’t pry and while the conversation was serious he couldn’t help his mannerisms much. Anyways he knew enough about Simmons’ past to piece together that it was a contributing factor in how he was treated.

Simmons pulls his hair just lightly. "The shapeshifting though is pretty nice," change it to something more pleasant. "Its pretty euphoric to have."

“I’m sure it is. You have a pretty good handle on controlling it too.” He said to him and smiled a bit “never seen it waver in conflicts.” He added, that was the most common time for that kind of magic to waver or fail, especially if one got hurt.

Simmons grins. "That's years of practice. Doesn't hurt that shapeshifting can keep active so long as you're conscious."

Grif nodded and smiled a bit more. “Yeah. I’m glad that for the most part you don’t have to deal with not looking how you want to. But don’t lose sleep over it ok? Like I know as a demon of sloth and gluttony I’m already going to say shit like that but I’m serious it can be really detrimental to your health. Physical and mental.” He said to him his tone changing to be more serious with the last part a bit of concern thrown into it as well.

Simmons blinks and straightens his back. "R, right." Grif has a point. He'll probably hurt himself in the long run if he keeps up with this 'no sleep' scenario. There was probably a way to fix that but it will take getting out of this place to do. A proper transition. Someday. The advice of a half demon isn't so bad, Simmons muses to himself.

“Good.” He said to him and stretched. “Just don’t get nervous around me. You’ll always be Richard Simmons, the dude who constantly nags me, no matter what you look like.” He said. “I am aware not being able to present right sucks sweaty monkey balls, but sometimes thats required in order to keep the rest of you healthy. But hey at least that's really only when you sleep. Lock the door so no one else finds out. Just get some damn sleep man.” He shifted and got up to get a change of clothes.

"I can do that." Simmons smiles. "And its Dick Simmons." He laughs lightly.

“Dick is the short of Richard.” Grif said and chuckled a bit.

"I prefer Dick."

“I got it.” He replied.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope this turns out the way it reads to me. I know shapeshifting and being outted are iffy topics in our community.


End file.
